


who let killua be the host?

by BeMoreBoyf, ThatGayApolloKid (BeMoreBoyf)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cussing, M/M, Mompika, No Smut, Nonbinary Kurapika, Other, alluka will prolly come in later, any pronouns for kurapika, dont ask, gon and killua are like 15, gon is an innocent bean, help me, im so sorry, killua is a gay ass zoomer, killua lives with kurapika, leorio is a boomer, leorio is a crusty old man, mentions of hentai and porn, mentions of toe sucking..., theres a bit of a sex talk, theres kinda a foot fetish thing, what did I do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28983057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeMoreBoyf/pseuds/BeMoreBoyf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeMoreBoyf/pseuds/ThatGayApolloKid
Summary: the hunter x hunter peeps have a group chatthats basically itthis is just straight (or should i say gay) up cracki wrote this during english classim so sorry.also sorry about the formatting issues! im gonna try to fix them, my italics won't show up so its kinda confusing. sorry again!
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sup, this is crack. im sorry

Killua Zoldyck has created a chat  
Gon Freecs, Kurapika Kurta, and Leorio Paladiknight have been added to the chat  
Killua Zoldyck renamed Gon Freecs to phraug<3, Kurapika Kurta to kurapika, Leorio Paladiknight to boomer, and Killua Zoldyck to zoomer

zoomer: sup bitches

phraug<3: hi babe! ☺️☺️❤️❤️

zoomer: ew don’t use emojis

kurapika: What is this? Why is my name not capitalized? 

boomer: BOOMER IS AN AGEIST SLUR

zoomer: whatever u say old man  
zoomer: capital letters are banned from this chat  
zoomer: and so are emojis

phraug<3: awwwww but what about this one 🐸

zoomer: fine that one gets rights frog boi

phraug<3: yayyyy!! <3

boomer: anyone else think that heart looks suspiciously like something else?

kurapika: Leorio, don’t corrupt the children anymore than you already have.

zoomer: get ur head out of that foot hentai crusty old man

phraug<3: what’s foot hentai? 

zoomer: nO IF U TELL HIM I WILL BE FORCED TO KILL U  
zoomer: dONT FORGET THAT IM A TRAINED ASSASSIN 

phraug<3: more like ASSassin

zoomer has removed phraug<3 from the chat

boomer: i’ve taught that kid well

zoomer has removed boomer from the chat

zoomer: hi mom

kurapika: hi child  
kurapika: can you come teach me how to turn off autocaps?

zoomer: of course mother, i’ll be right in


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gon and killua are gay, they cuddle, and kurapika is a mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so short-

zoomer has added phraug<3 and boomer to the chat

zoomer: any funny business old man and i will remove u

boomer: what about gon?? he got off without even a warning??

zoomer: gon gave me cuddles. 

boomer: oh oop-

zoomer has removed boomer from the chat

phraug<3: killluuaaaaa ur acting like a dictator  
phraug<3: or should i say a zoldycktator

zoomer: no❤️  
zoomer: u owe me cuddles for that

phraug<3: okay :)<3  
phraug<3: i’ll be right over!!

kurapika: use protection kiddos

zoomer: mOMMMM  
zoomer: tHATS GROSS

phraug<3: what do u mean pika?  
phraug<3: protection from what? killua’s pretty powerful, i’m sure he could kill anyone who tried to hurt us

zoomer: never change gon  
zoomer: ur so innocent

phraug<3: what do u mean?

zoomer: never mind froggie, u better be on ur way here  
zoomer: i r e q u i r e c u d d l e s

phraug<3: i’m outside the door!!

zoomer: pikaaaa can u get the dooorrr??

kurapika: yes child.

zoomer: yaaaaaaaaaay


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leorio gives the kids a sex talk oop-
> 
> this is not graphic, but there is a mention of titties im sorry
> 
> also mentions of foot fetish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry

zoomer has added boomer to the chat

zoomer: i have been forced to do this old man  
zoomer: mom told me that if i didn’t add u back and stop removing u she would take away my gon privileges  
zoomer: and i can’t have that

phraug<3: awwwwww akdnjdjdjdkkdkfkfkfk

boomer: that was gay

zoomer: ur on thin ice old man

kurapika: leorio, it has been brought to my attention that these kids are unaware of what sexual intercourse is and since you are the one who decided that it would be a good idea to show them foot porn you are the one who has to tell them.

zoomer: nO ABSOLUTELY NOT

boomer: YOU CANT MAKE ME DO THAT PIKA

phraug<3: what

kurapika: leorio this is your punishment.  
kurapika: if you don’t inform them i won’t hold up my end of the bargain. and you won’t get a refund.

zoomer: i’m sorry what now

boomer: FINE

zoomer: nO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

phraug<3: i’m so confused

zoomer: gON COVER UR EYES AND EARS

phraug<3: what

boomer: so when a man and a woman love each other they decide that it’s time for them to have sex  
boomer: uhhh titties are sometimes involved  
boomer: like i always say, the bigger the tit the more i’m into it

zoomer: what the fuck old man  
zoomer: we’re literally both gay

phraug<3: i’m honestly so confused

zoomer has removed phraug<3 from the chat

zoomer: i had to protect his virgin eyes  
zoomer: i also have to protect mine

zoomer has removed themselves from the chat  
kurapika is the host now

kurapika: well it looks like i’m the host now, he must not of thought of that.

kurapika has added zoomer and phraug<3  
kurapika has changed boomer’s name to foot guy  
kurapika has changed zoomer’s name to pain in the ass

pain in the ass: fuck no  
pain in the ass: get me out of here

kurapika: never.  
kurapika: although i would like leorio to stop talking now, i don’t think i can listen to this. i’ll give you two the talk after dinner.

phraug<3: i’m so confused but okay!

pain in the ass: at least it’s better than leorio giving it.

foot guy: i take offense to that.  
foot guy: also wtf is my name pika??

kurapika: i think it’s a very good representation of who you are.  
kurapika: although i will be giving the host privileges back to killua as i have no clue as to how to control this chat.

pain in the ass is the host now

pain in the ass: yay!! thank u mommmm

kurapika: of course child

pain in the ass changed their name to gæ

gæ: that’s better.  
gæ: now,,,, gon and i have to go do homework, see ya guys

foot guy: “homework”

gæ: stfu boomer

kurapika: i have to go finish up dinner, killua is gon staying for dinner?

gæ: yeeee, he’s staying for the rest of the week cause aunt mito is out of town

kurapika: oh okay that’s fine, i’ll get the air mattress for you.

foot guy: can i come over….?

kurapika: yes, i’ll make extra mac and cheese.

foot guy: yyyaaaayyyyy


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kurapika is trans  
> leorio sucks toes  
> killua plays animal crossing new horizons  
> gon and killua c u d d l e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet again i must say sorry

gæ: tHAT FUCKING FOX CAN SUCK MY ENTIRE BIG TOE  
gæ: hE SOLD ME A FUCKING FAKE PAINTING

foot guy: i’m not even gonna ask questions

kurapika: i am, what’s going on?

phraug<3: killua just got the new animal crossing game!

kurapika: ohhh that makes sense

foot guy: i’m still confused

gæ: oh and hey mom u want to sell ur tits to tom nook?

kurapika: oh yes that would be much appreciated, tell that capitalist raccoon that i say thank you.

gæ: of course

foot guy: wait wait wait, kurapika has tits????

kurapika: yeah i’m trans u idiot

phraug<3: even i knew that!

foot guy: wait but i thought u were like trans but like born a guy???

kurapika: well i’m actually non binary, but i was born a woman sadly.

gæ: f in the chat

phraug<3: f

gæ: f

kurapika: f

foot guy: what

kurapika: as you know leorio i use any pronouns (but primarily he/they) and i’m nonbinary.  
kurapika: leorio you of all people should know this, you’ve sucked my toes.

gæ: iM SORRY HES DONE WHAT NOW???

phraug<3: hES SUCKED UR TOES?? MOM WHAT THE FECK

kurapika: oh shit-  
kurapika: i’ve said too much 

kurapika has left the chat 

gæ: oWN UP BOOMER

foot guy: no❤️

foot guy has left the chat

gæ: fine i don’t have the energy for this  
gæ: hey gon u want to cuddle

phraug<3: yeeeeee!!

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this was so short! the next chapters should be longer


End file.
